I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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