he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
BRING THE BAGELS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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