READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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