Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize