Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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