Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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