Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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