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i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
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