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• (360): View more from Washington

  The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

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• (310): View more from California

  Slut skills are useful in every country.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament

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• (518): View more from New York

  currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.

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