Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off