I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night