Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
