Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
