Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
