Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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