So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
