i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
