Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
