You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ugly people sure do ruin things
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize