well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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