try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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