**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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