Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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