Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
