When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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