I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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