I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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