ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
