i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
