ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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