Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
