i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude. I can hear the air.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
