You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
