Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
