Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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