I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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