dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
