if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
