What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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