i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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