Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
