I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need a beard to bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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