It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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