your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He kissed a someone with a penis
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
