so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
