seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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