that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
