Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
