you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
