White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
