Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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