I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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