he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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