I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i out mim tonsoeep
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