I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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