the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
