What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
