Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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