I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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