wat bout pragnant strippers??
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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