I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish