After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.