fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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