So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
