And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
