At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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