I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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