i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
