Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
